Everything Does Not Happen For a Reason
Everything Does Not Happen For a Reason is a blog post written on my personal experience and views of the world. Everything Does Not Happen For a Reason is not intended to attack any readers beliefs and was crafted with upmost respect.
“I Will Never Get Past This”- my favorite chapter of my favorite book that anyone who has spent a decent amount of time with me has been recommended at least twice. Girl, Wash Your Face- the New York Times Bestseller by Rachel Hollis. I’ll spare you the details but leave you with the final line:
“I used to nicely say that ‘everything happens for a reason’. But that was only because I hadn’t yet lived through something horrific enough to bring the statement into question. I don’t believe everything happens for a specific reason, but I do believe it’s possible to find purpose- even in the absence of explanation”.
Everything does not happen for a reason. Some things are utterly gruesome, life-altering tragedies that statement can just not be placed upon. Many people have not yet experienced that "Sit on a couch every Saturday morning at 10:00 am sharp trying to beat my PTSD" kind of tragedy. And lucky for some, they never do.
But if have ever watched your entire world shatter in the blink of an eye, there must be a whole lot of faith still left in your heart to believe that everything really does happen for a reason.
That statement is almost an insult to me. Not in the “you are totally offending me right now” kind of way, because I understand that people only know what they have experienced, but I do feel just a tad bit insulted. You think Sandy Hook happened for a reason? You think 20 children between the ages of six and seven were fatally shot for a reason? That each of those little souls has a family grieving, never getting to watch their children grow up?
Take Elizabeth Smart for example. Kidnapped from her own bed at a slight age of 14, sexually abused for nearly a year. Elizabeth is one of the 2% of child abductions that is found and found alive. I will not even try to imagine work that woman had to put into simply put her feet on the floor every morning. The therapy a young teenager would have to endure to find just a piece of the girl she was before. Elizabeth could have given up. She could have let her mental disturbances get the best of her, drowned herself in the self-pity. And I’m sure sometimes she did.
Elizabeth Smart now? A mother of three. The author of two books. A dedicated advocate for change related to child abduction, recovery programs, and National legislation. Founder of the “Elizabeth Smart Foundation”.
Do I believe Elizabeth endured hell because she was on a destined path to become a New York Times bestseller? Absolutely not. There is no greater reason Elizabeth was raped every single day for nine months. She just found purpose, even in the absence of an explanation.
As I have already said, this is my view on the world. Solely opinion. I think society so often jumps to conclude that everything happens for a reason because we do not want to accept that a tragic occurrence is out of our control but believe that it is a part of a plan.
Life is not a plan. Life is life. And brutal, terrible, shitty things happen in life.
I do not believe there is a greater reason for the 911 call I made after finding my mom’s dead body before I was of age to even see an R rated movie. It made me stronger, yes I know that. But the strength and perseverance that comes along with that kind of occurrence will never make up for absence my own mother on the day I graduate high school.
Do I think I would have this blog if my Mom didn’t die? No. Do I think I would have such helpful perspectives without her death? No. Do I think some greater power killed my mom so that I could have some extra confidence and run a blog? NO.
So no, I do not believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that in the midst of tragedy we either shut down or find it in us to keep going and to make something out of ourselves. You decide.
All the love,